Loving a Man who Lost a Wife and the Mother of His Children
When my husband’s previous wife passed away suddenly, I can only imagine how devastating that was to him and his two children. In the blink of an eye he was left wifeless and his children no longer had their mother.
His thought process was that he had to be strong for his children and do the best that he could do in raising them under those stressful circumstances.
When we met I knew it would be really hard for his children to have to deal with another woman coming into their lives and seemingly trying to replace their mother.
The best way to handle this was to not try and be their mother. My job was to be supportive and be there for them as best as I could and to let our relationships grow as naturally as possible. The good thing is they actually like me and we get along for the most part.
His daughter was15 and his son was 9 at the time. They were going through and still are going through one of the hardest things a person will ever go through at such young ages.
Now that we’re married we make sure to always present a united front and set firm boundaries. But that didn’t come easy. There is always that want to be lenient with them because of what they’ve been through. We have to remember that we would do them a disservice if we didn’t provide them with the tools that are needed to be productive and prepared citizens. Because the fact remains that the world doesn’t care that you‘ve lost a parent. Sad, but true.
We’ve been together 4 years now and married for 2 and I, for the most part do not discipline them nor does he discipline mine. Having my own 2 children we have managed to blend our family pretty well.
As time goes on they get better and better and we all become stronger. The goal is always to make their world a little more normal everyday as much as possible and to surround all 4 of them with as much love and guidance that their heart can hold.
We do not have it all together and some days are really tough but we pray and believe that God will use our story as a testimony to bless others.
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